I can’t leave the room without you crying for me. As soon as I’m out of sight, your heart hurts. It worries I won’t come back.
I tell you I’ll only be a minute. I need longer sometimes. But I don’t take it. I pick you up and we do it together. It takes longer. It’s harder. But I choose it because it’s easier on my heart.
Read MoreImagine if you stopped and saw yourself each day.
And I don’t just mean in the mirror.
Imagine if you stepped outside of yourself, stood to the side and watched everything you actually do
for a day.
Can you?
Read MoreLet me tell you what you may not be telling yourself.
⠀
You are a good mom. Imperfect moments don’t make a bad mother. Perfect in motherhood doesn’t exist.
⠀
Your children love you as you are. However that looks. Whether that means wearing makeup or not, having fancy clothes or wearing the same thing as three years ago. Regardless of your size, your hair style, the marks on your skin, they love you.
⠀
Read MoreSome days I’m the Hot Mess Mum.
I stay in my robe all day, don’t shower until they’re in bed, and then feed them spaghetti on toast for dinner.
It’s holding on.
To time that’s already passed,
To tiny arms around your neck,
And to little legs around your hips.
Read MoreBeing a SAHM is hard.
People often think it’s the easier option.
But there’s no easier option when it comes to mothering.
Read MoreI know you won’t remember
The way we dance at night
Your body on my chest
Hands held under moonlight
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Your finger tips scan my face
From my eyes to my lips
Your feet move with me
As I rock you from my hips
Read MoreI’ve never had to care for myself so much, yet it feels like I don’t have the time.
Every day I’m on a hamster wheel giving my all. Round and round we go. I’m making it all spin for them and we are making ground, so much ground, but it’s hard to see some days.
I feel like my foundations are shaking.
Read MoreBe kind to her.
You never know how many times she’s beaten herself up today for where she feels she’s fallen short.
Or how many things she needs to get done she still hasn’t been able to.
You never know whether it’s that time of the month for her.
Read MoreYou are exactly what they need.
Not them.
Not others who look like they are handling it better, or findingit easier, or have more of what you think you need.
You’re no longer a newborn
But you still wake up at night
It doesn’t make you “good” or “bad”
There is no wrong or right
Read MoreI want to have more sleep.
But I don’t want to be needed less.
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I want to have more time to pursue my own dreams.
But I don’t want to miss out on theirs.
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Read MoreI see the way you look at me now.
It’s not the way you used to.
We don’t have as much time anymore.
I understand that.
Some days we don’t
Read MoreAs you move through your motherhood journey, and have subsequent children, you become more experienced.
And this is generally because doing things more than once, no matter what that thing you are doing subsequently, lends itself to knowing more.
But when it comes to motherhood, knowing more doesn’t necessarily mean needing less.
Here’s why.
I’m an ugly crier.
But that doesn’t matter, because sadness doesn’t care about looks.
It effects everyone, in differing degrees.
Read MoreTake yourself into the future.
Twenty or so years from now.
When your children are no longer in your home, only in your heart, memories and infrequent visits.
Read MoreIt can be so easy to forget your strength as a mother.
The physical and mental exhaustion, which rarely gives up, can leave you weak at the knees.
Yet despite this, you keep walking.
This is for the Mother thick in loss,
The bad news echoing in her ears, the tears staining her bare thighs which warm the familiar white seat beneath her.
The questions whirling around in her head, like the storm she wasn’t prepared for. The self-blame drowning her.
Read MoreThey say it gets easier
That sleep will come
That they’ll move to solids
And be walking by one.
Read More